Wednesday, December 23, 2009
I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me
Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a-tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around
The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me
I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
Now I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside, and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake, its a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me
How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still
Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...
Why is it that only when one is experiencing such heartache, that one will only really take time to listen to all these lyrics. Which makes so much sense and in a way, make it hurt even more. Its like really rubbing the salt deep into the wound. And i dunno why, but im hurting real badly. I dunno why its affecting me in such a way that i didnt know it could. Im really not prepared for it which makes it all the more worse. The war that im up against with myself. The internal battle of that realisation that keeps hitting me time and time again. I cant escape it. I've been looking for ways and means to escape it. But it keeps coming back. Every night now i cant slp so easily, and only manage to fall aslp with those tortured thoughts. Of how and why i was so stupid and dumb n so screwed up to make that stupid stupid mistake. Why didnt i see it then? Or during the whole year n all. Why WHy WHY?! well its too late now isnt it. and no matter how much i wish i can take it back, i cant. thats the fact i've gotta live with. the hurt and pain that i gotta bear with everyday. During the day it aint so bad, its the nights that the pain goes really really bad. when im really truly alone.
Dear Santa, i will never ever bother you by wishing anymore other wishes, if u could grant me the one true wish that is so dear to my heart. And that wish is not even a materialistic one. But i know, that wish isnt going to come true anytime soon is it. Its a futile wish. I cant be selfish. But i still cant help wishing. And have been wishing it since that day. So please Santa, grant me my wish, and i'll never bother you with any other wishes again. Ever. Because if that wish comes true, thats all i really need. Nothing more coz a million years from now, i'll still be loving him. Only him. Because of everything that we went thru and did. Santa can u hear my plea?
9:49 PM
INTRO
L is for the way u LOOK at me
O is for the ONLY one I see
V is VERY VERY extraordinary
E is EVEN more than anyone that you can adore
Like a perfect scene
From a movie screen
We're a dream come true
Suited perfectly
For eternity
Me and you
Everyday, I need you even more
And the night time too
There's no way I could ever let you go
Even if I wanted to
ME!
M-S-M
I(II)-N-A-T-M
Shopaholic
Piercings<3
Tattoos<3
*Might* fall into the materialist category
LOVES
Leather, Rosegold, Gold, Silver<3<3<3
Accessories Addict<3
Spiky, studded, sparkly goods
Bagaholic
Watch Collector
I live to eat<3
THE WANTS
To secure a stable job in the near future
<3
Y
